R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
