Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
How's work?
Spinning.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
