it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
