is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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