so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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