I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She told me I should be a condom model.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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