Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
