: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
