Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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