So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
