I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You were trust falling into bushes
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
