I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize