I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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