Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
