Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I am available for nakedness
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
