Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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