I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
