I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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