you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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