Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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