Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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