..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize