420 ftw
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
