just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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