so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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