I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
