Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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