Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
