either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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