I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
