he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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