dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
