just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
