we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize