We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
