that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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