i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So much rum. So many feels.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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