It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
