You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
