yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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