Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I want to make a zoo with you.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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