So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
