I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize