Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
