we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
