They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
