I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize