I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
