So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
