the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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