Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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