there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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