the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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