I bet he comes in French.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
