is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
