so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
