did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
