And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
