I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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