My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
