im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize