i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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