i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
