So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
