you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
