I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
